My parents were happy to the end
Watching her parents battle cancer was heart-wrenching for Jackie Abbott, 44, but they smiled through their last days
My parents, Martin, 63, and
Mary, 65, were local legends in our town. They owned a market stall
in Bradford and everyone knew them. They really appreciated the
funny side of life. They were real characters - always laughing,
never down - and their devotion to each other was only matched by
their devotion to my brother, my sister and myself; we were a
close, happy family, and they were at the centre of it, so losing
them to cancer has been hard.
Mum and Dad were always very healthy, and never took a day off from
working on the stall. But in 1999, Dad became very ill and had to
have a liver transplant. He recovered from the operation well but
had to take anti-rejection drugs daily, which work to suppress and
reduce the body's immune system so it doesn't reject the
new organ. Despite this, Dad returned to work and life went on as
normal until July 2004, when he felt unwell. He was referred to St
James's Hospital, Leeds, for tests and was diagnosed with
prostate cancer. It was an awful shock. Because he'd already
survived so much, I'd just assumed he'd never get sick
again. Worse news came as his doctor told us treatment for the
cancer would clash with his anti-rejection drugs, but not taking
the anti-rejection drugs would also have a devastating effect. It
was a no-win situation. Without treatment, the cancer quickly
spread and Dad became increasingly unwell and spent a lot of time
in and out of hospital.
In November 2004, he was admitted to the Marie Curie Hospice,
Bradford, to live out his last days. Initially, I was nervous of
visiting him at a hospice but, as Dad loved being there, I realised
there was nothing to be scared of. Even my two sons, James, now 13,
and Daniel, 9, who found
it hard to visit Dad in hospital,
happily went to the hospice. Although Dad was dying, he was still
joking and at times I thought the roof would come off with the
laughter! But on 15 November 2004, our lives changed when he passed
away quietly.
I worried about Mum after his death. I wasn't sure she'd
cope as they'd spent all their time together, but she kept busy
at her supermarket job and seeing friends.
But in the summer of 2008, her appetite and energy dwindled. She
went through a barrage of tests and, in October 2008, she was
diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had surgery to remove as much
cancer as possible and began chemotherapy. She was so strong and
positive. She believed her cancer was different to Dad's, as
he'd had to contend with bigger obstacles.
After six months of treatment, Mum went back to work but, despite
the chemotherapy, the cancer came back and quickly spread. Her
consultant told us it was so advanced, nothing else could be done.
I was devastated.
We'd lost Dad and now we were losing Mum. I was outwardly
strong for her sake, but inside I was in pieces.
Mum's health deteriorated very quickly. One week she was out
shopping, the next she couldn't move her leg, then she
couldn't stay awake. On 23 July 2009, we made the trip back to
the hospice. It felt strange to be back there, but we all knew it
was the best place for Mum's final days. After only a week
there, she died.
Adjusting to life without Mum was hard. I kept going to pick up the
phone to call her, or would buy her a treat when I was out.
Clearing out her house I found 56 pink lipsticks, which inspired me
to hold a 'pink pamper party' to raise funds for Marie
Curie. Ever since then I've thrown myself into fundraising and
I do a charity run every year. I know Mum and Dad would be so proud
of me and I feel great giving something back to the charity that
helped keep both my parents smiling until the end.
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