January 2009 - Ask me anything
My sister needs help caring for her husband and son
My sister is a full-time carer for her husband, who suffers from
multiple sclerosis, and her 23-year-old son, who has autism. She
also works as a manager for sheltered housing for pensioners. As
her husband's condition worsens at home, things are becoming
increasingly hard for her. They have been advised to have an
extension built to meet their needs but don't know where to
turn next as they don't have enough money to pay for it. She is
also the nearest to our 85-year-old housebound mother and does a
lot for her. Who can help them? I drive down to help her out every
couple of months; I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago and I
can see the signs in her.
DENISE SAYS:
You're right, your sister needs support. The MS Trust (01462
476700, www.nmss.org ) and the National Autistic Society (0845
070 4004, http://www.nas.org.uk/) can help, and she should also
contact her local carers' association. They'll be in her
phone book and will guide her to all sources of help. Age Concern
(0800 009 966, www.ageconcern.org.uk ) will make sure your mother has
care in her own home, easing the burden on your sister. Dealing
with agencies is time-consuming so it would be helpful if you could
assist with this. An agency might be able to arrange some respite
care, and a day or even half a day off can be a wonderful tonic.
Keep in regular touch by phone so she doesn't feel alone, and
when you visit, send your sister off on her own to chill.
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