January 2010 - Ask me anything?
"We're so ashamed of our son"
Please help me as
we don't know where to turn. Our son, who has always been a
credit to us, is facing a charge of assault. It all happened during
a night out for a friend's 18th birthday and he says he was
defending himself against a gang who attacked his friends for no
reason. However, they had all had too much to drink and that has
shocked us as he's always been sensible. Nothing like this has
happened in our families and telling the grandparents was the worst
experience of my life. I'm worried about the effect on his
young brother and sister and I feel so ashamed. I feel he has
jeopardised his entire future. Judith
DENISE SAYS: I know this must seem like the end
of the world but it isn't. Yes, it's a setback but a lot
depends on how you all handle it. First, make sure he has good
legal representation then you have to let him see that, although
you are upset and disappointed, you believe this
can be
dealt with. Nothing would be gained by making him feel he has
crossed some kind of Rubicon from which there is no return. He is
the same boy you have always known. He may be telling the truth
when he says he acted in self-defence or he may have behaved
foolishly but one foolish act does not mean he has begun a life of
crime. It could well be that he has learned a valuable lesson and
will be more careful in future. If you need support through all
this, Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222 will provide that support
and a listening ear. They will have heard this story over and over
again. 'Perfect' children are not often seen outside of
stories. I'm sure Parentline will agree with me that there can
be a happy outcome if you all pull together.
To read more from Denise Robertson please join
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