July 2011 - Ask me anything!
If you've got a problem, resident Candis agony aunt Denise Robertson can help. From money worries to family matters, Denise offers readers her unique brand of caring advice...
"I have no one around
that I can open up to. I have a good friend but she works full
time, has a family and is about to become a grandma. After
divorce,
I came away with very little to show for 30 years of
my life. I have two children - a married son and a daughter who
lives overseas. I have one grandson and I know I am better off than
many people. I have no health problems but I just cannot seem to
turn my life around. The town I live in is small. If you
weren't born here, you don't belong. After being married to
a bully, I've lost my confidence. I was made redundant and that
isn't helping as one day seems to merge into another. I am so
lonely and cannot tell my children as they have enough to cope
with. I have tried college courses but am too shy to go and have
got voluntary stuff to do, but will I pluck up the courage to
go?" Joan
DENISE SAYS: The bad news is your life
isn't great at the moment. The good news is that there is
nothing that can't be put right. You need three things -
renewed confidence, new friends and a social life. Out of those
three things, a new life can be built, one that will be happier
than you have known in the last few years. Friendship and getting
out will restore confidence, as will voluntary work. The National
Council for Divorced, Separated and Widowed Phoenix (www.ncds.org.uk) is
designed to help people in your situation. They have regular social
gatherings where you can make friends who'll understand how you
feel because it happened to them. Call 07041 478 120 and make a
start. They have branches in most areas and you can also become a
member.
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