March 2010 - Ask me anything?
"MY
MOTHER-IN-LAW IS DRIVING ME MAD"
My mother-in-law always undermines my authority and questions my
judgement. My husband's attitude is, "Don't let her
get to you."
Recently she upset my son, who failed the eleven-plus, by saying he
could have gone to university if he had gone to a grammar school.
We know he will have job satisfaction in his chosen trade but my
mother-in-law is appalled. Both my husband and I have
to
work and she always makes comments about working mums not taking
time to bake bread and cakes! She doesn't comprehend that we
need the money I earn to run our household and never acknowledges
that we're doing well. My mum thinks she's just jealous and
out of touch, but I think she's becoming quite vicious and
we're heading for a huge row. How can I avoid this happening?
Lauren
DENISE SAYS: Firstly, stop being afraid of her
and see her for what she is - a sad, unfulfilled woman who is
trying to live again in your life instead of making her own life
more satisfying. She can't undermine your authority because she
has no power, so she can only criticise. Secondly, you need to
develop more pride in what you and your husband have built.
There will be times you will be frustrated but, if you accept that
she has no power, you will cease to be afraid, and that is what is
at the basis of the way you feel now. If your son sees you
aren't affected, it will be easier for him to take what is good
in his relationship with
his grandmother and let the
nonsense go over his head.
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