March 2011 - Ask me anything!
"She'll think I don't care!"
When my son and his partner
separated, I tried very hard not to take sides, but he was so upset
and lonely that naturally my sympathies were with him. His partner
has taken this badly and has forbidden me from seeing my
granddaughter. She is three years old and the light of my life. I
worry that she will think I have just forgotten her and don't
love her any more. This is breaking my heart but
I know her
mother is a very strong character and means what she says.
She's my only grandchild and I feel desperate that I may never
see her again. I feel I'm being punished for standing by my
son. Hannah
DENISE SAYS: I'm so sorry this has
happened. Of course you feel desperate but take heart - your son
will have access to his child and you will be able to see her then
and keep that lovely bond you share. Access can be arranged by
mutual discussion between the parents but, if necessary, he can get
a legal access order, which the mother will have to obey. It will
be sad if it has to be done this way, but a child needs contact
with all their family and the child's interests are safeguarded
by the court. In the meantime, why not write to your
daughter-in-law and tell her how you feel? Don't apportion
blame. Instead, just tell her you love your granddaughter very much
and hope you can see her occasionally. She may have acted in the
heat of the moment and now regrets it. If not, then your son can
make sure you still enjoy your granddaughter. I'd also contact
the Grandparents' Association on 0845 434 9585 or www.grandparents-association.org.uk. They will have
heard your sad story many times, I'm afraid, and can offer you
support and advice.
To read more from Denise Robertson either turn to page
94 in your March issue or please join
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