March 2011 - Ask me anything!

"She'll think I don't care!"

deniseWhen my son and his partner separated, I tried very hard not to take sides, but he was so upset and lonely that naturally my sympathies were with him. His partner has taken this badly and has forbidden me from seeing my granddaughter. She is three years old and the light of my life. I worry that she will think I have just forgotten her and don't love her any more. This is breaking my heart but
I know her mother is a very strong character and means what she says. She's my only grandchild and I feel desperate that I may never see her again. I feel I'm being punished for standing by my son. Hannah

DENISE SAYS: I'm so sorry this has happened. Of course you feel desperate but take heart - your son will have access to his child and you will be able to see her then and keep that lovely bond you share. Access can be arranged by mutual discussion between the parents but, if necessary, he can get a legal access order, which the mother will have to obey. It will be sad if it has to be done this way, but a child needs contact with all their family and the child's interests are safeguarded by the court. In the meantime, why not write to your daughter-in-law and tell her how you feel? Don't apportion blame. Instead, just tell her you love your granddaughter very much and hope you can see her occasionally. She may have acted in the heat of the moment and now regrets it. If not, then your son can make sure you still enjoy your granddaughter. I'd also contact the Grandparents' Association on 0845 434 9585 or www.grandparents-association.org.uk. They will have heard your sad story many times, I'm afraid, and can offer you support and advice.

To read more from Denise Robertson either turn to page 94 in your March issue or please join


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