May 2009 - Ask me anything
"I've run out of patience with my
daughter"
I am a single parent of six children aged from three to 19. My son
is now at university and my eldest daughter is doing her GCSEs. My
problem is my youngest daughter who has all the symptoms of a child
with ADHD. I love her but I don't like her very much. She is
disruptive with the older children, bullies her other sister and
destroys everyone's toys. I put her to bed at about 7pm but she
comes back down the stairs about 40 times each evening. I go to bed
exhausted and she is still up and running about. She has no
interest in anything apart from wrecking things. I've stopped
taking her out with me, as she is too disruptive, yet none of my
other children were like this. I've tried 'time out'
but nothing seems to work. I'm at my wits' end. Please
help. Juliette
DENISE SAYS: Your
little girl may have ADHD but I doubt it. I think she's at the
bottom of a heap of semi grown-ups who all seem to have more
freedom than her and bask in your approval. So she decides that
she'll be the naughty one! She tries it and finds that you
react. When you're concentrating on her instead of your other
children, that means success to her - to you it means a nervous
breakdown. The answer is to give her an important role. Make her
the centre of attention for good reasons, not bad. When she's
naughty, ignore it but pour praise on her new role. Take time to do
something with her, just the two of you - on the condition she gets
a good night's sleep. It's bribery but if it works, so
what? Give her another, better way and my guess is you'll have
no more trouble.
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