February 2012... On the couch
Can a relationship survive an affair?
This month, three Candis readers debate whether it is possible to ever truly forgive and forget a partner’s infidelity, or if the effects are everlasting...
CLAIRE TAYLOR, 43, Is a single mum and lives with her daughter in Sheffield. Claire’s marriage failed after her now ex-husband left her for another woman.
SUZY MILLER, 47, Suzy thinks a relationship can survive if both partners are willing to work at it. She lives with her three children in East Sussex.
PAM ARLAND, 53, is married and has two children. Pam, from Altrincham, believes the way people are brought up determines how they react to an affair.
What’s your relationship status?
Pam: “I’ve been married for 31 years and have two children.”
Suzy: “I’m very happily single and live with my children, aged 14, 12 and 10. I was with their dad for 10 years, but we never married. When our youngest was 18 months, my ex decided to end the relationship. There was no infidelity but it was a horrible time. Thankfully we’re now good friends.”
Claire: “I’m also a single mum and live with my daughter, who’s nine years old. Her dad and I split after two years of marriage and I’ve dated since then, but nothing serious.”
Have any of you experienced infidelity within a relationship?
Suzy: “I was cheated on by an exboyfriend and it caused me a lot of anger and hurt, and made me realise I wasn’t as strong as I thought. It was hard dealing with those emotions but I was worried that if I just ignored my feelings and rushed into another relationship, I would spend the rest of my life being afraid of it happening again. I eventually got to a place where I wasn’t angry about
it any more and I don’t think it’s affected my ability to trust men.”
Claire: “My ex-husband and I split up because he left me for someone else. He’d known her for
two years before I met him and he had wanted to have a relationship with her, but she was with someone else at the time. We then got married and I fell pregnant, but I knew they were still in touch. Then ten days after I gave birth to our daughter he told me he was leaving us for her. I was
absolutely devastated.
HAVE YOUR SAY!
Can a relationship survive an affair? (CLOSED)
To read more, please turn to page 64 of your February issue or click here to subscribe.
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