November 2010 On the couch
Do teenagers get
a raw deal?
It's difficult to be a teenager, but is it time they
took more responsibility? Or do we expect too much from them? Three
Candis readers discuss their views...
READER PROFILES
Sue Davis, 52, wirral
Sue is married to John and has two daughters, 14
and 11. She believes we should encourage teenagers to be more
responsible
Sara Owen, 39,
denbighshire
Sara has two daughters, 11 and 7. As a mental health nurse working with teenagers, she says we all have a role to play in helping teens
Helen Dugdale Reed, 34, cheshire
Helen is married to Jonathon, has a son, 2, and is about to give birth to baby number two. Helen feels the media demonises teens
What were you like when you were a teenager?
Helen: I wasn't very rebellious, I hung around the park with my friends, but we were pretty respectful of our parents. We were quite intimidated by adults, even at 16.
Sara: I had three brothers who were younger than me. We were a close family, so whatever my brothers were doing, I'd do it with them. There was a bit of rebellious stuff, but nothing huge that got me in big trouble.
Sue: A bit mischievous. I remember sitting in bed while my sister was trying to do her homework, singing loudly purely to annoy her!
Did adults have more authority back then?
Helen: Yes, definitely!
Sue: Yes. We wouldn't swear in front of older people, for instance. You knew if you did, you'd be in trouble. I remember Dad running up the stairs shouting, "I'll get you!" when I'd done something bad. But on the other hand, if I came in when I'd promised I would, my parents would let me stay out a bit later next time. I'd behave myself purely for fear of the consequences if I didn't.
What else do you think has changed for teenagers since you were younger?
Sue: They're on Facebook and send texts all the time. We'd go round to each others' houses if we wanted to talk, but it seems like they do everything online instead of face-to-face now.
Helen: I think we're more aware of the things we need to rectify for teenagers, like the fact that there's often nowhere for them to hang out. This can create problems in inner cities where there are serious issues with gang culture. The Government could help with more funding for sports and community centres.
Sara: Teenagers get a rough deal now. When I was growing up, my brothers would play football on the street. Elderly neighbours would feel safe enough to complain, even though I'd think, "They're not doing anything wrong!" but what happens now is that we've become so scared of groups of teenagers together, there is a tendency to demonise them, which can make people overreact. If I feel a bit intimidated, I have to remind myself that they're just young people hanging about, they're not criminals.
Have your say!
Do teenagers get a raw deal? (CLOSED)
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Comments:
"Following almost 40 years in trying to help teenagers, I recently had a book published that attempts to help everyone understand the problems that teenagers face in the 21st century. These are two reviews of it that may whet your appetite - A Wonderful Life? – Keef Feeley A Wonderful Life? tells the story of a teenage girl, Stacey, who tries to commit suicide after becoming overwhelmed by her problems and the stress associated with them. However, she begins to turn her life around after she is visited by the ghost of her great Granddad, Arthur. Arthur tells Stacey about 8 skills needed to succeed, how she can acquire them, and the impact they would have on her life. What is particularly refreshing about this book is that, though it is made clear that Stacey chose the path she did, the writer draws attention to the way parents’ behaviour can affect their child, and how schools fail to teach children the 8 essential skills outlined in the book. So, rather than trying to pin point the blame, it highlights the ways in which many institutions in society can affect the lives of children and teenagers. In addition to this, it is nice to see how Stacey’s relationships develop with her family, particularly her younger sister, Suzi, as they endeavour to learn more about the 8 skills, positive parenting, self-esteem, self-harm and a number of other key issues tackled within the book. Furthermore, examples of the questionnaires and posters that Stacey and Suzi find/create together are featured within the book, which may give the reader inspiration if they want to do something similar, and any key terms are explained simply and clearly, making the book accessible for both adults and teenagers. A Wonderful Life? is an interesting read which takes a unique approach to dealing with troublesome teens, and the various problems they may be facing. Written by Ruth Anderson. (age 19 years) “Wonderful book! I would far rather have this as a basis for my parenting courses!!!” – (Jan Turner Senior Parenting Practitioner , Redcar and Cleveland Council) "
Keef Feeley - Monday 1st Nov 2010