February 2010 - On the couch

On the couchDo money issues cause relationship rows?

This month, three readers tell us about the different ways they deal with finances, household budgets and money management, as part of a couple


OTC KIMKim Pearsall, 34

Lives with her partner of eight years, Gawain Davies, 36, in Leicestershire. A pharmacist, she admits she's not brilliant with money and her partner deals with finances.


OTC - DONNADonna Thomas, 29

Has lived with her husband James, 33, in Lancashire for 13 years. They've two daughters, 7 and 5. Although she and James have a joint account, Donna manages all of their financial affairs.


OTC LEONIELeonie Martin, 45

Lives in Chesterfield with her husband, Stuart, 47, and two teenage children. A full-time mum since being diagnosed with MS in 2001, she deals with finances but says it makes her unpopular.


Do you have the same attitude to money as your partner?

Leonie: "Not at all! I've always been quite anxious about money, which stems from being in foster care when I was younger. Straight after my A levels, I started work and saved up to buy my own house, which I did at 21. My husband on the other hand, grew up in a secure, middle-class family and has a laid-back attitude to money. He'd always prefer to spend it on eating out, going on holiday or tickets to shows, and wouldn't notice if the carpet was threadbare."

Donna: "We're quite similar in that we both know we must prioritise on essentials like food and fuel and, if we want anything else, we only get it if we can afford it."

Who manages the money in your household?

Leonie: "Me. Not because I want to though, but because my husband isn't interested in budgets or looking at ways of cutting back."

Kim: "Being in charge of the money scares me so I'm happy to let my partner handle it. We have a joint account for the house, and different accounts for holidays and our wedding. He'd like it if I was more involved and has made spreadsheets so I can see what is going in and out of our accounts, but it all just stresses me out."

Donna: "I'm the one that deals with all the money in our house. We have a joint account, which my husband's wages go into. I then divide the money up for the bills, including money for his petrol and lunches. If he wants anything after that he asks and if we can afford it he gets it."

Leonie: "I find being in charge of the budget can be horrible at times. Don't you ever get fed up of always having to be the one that says no to things, especially with the kids? My husband seems to have a knack for saving money for lads' weekends, but I have to say no to buying more basic things."

Donna: "Yes, 
I get fed up sometimes, and he does seem to get more trips away, but I spend money on myself too, like paying fees at my weekly slimming class. He does get larger things, but I get smaller things more often so it evens out. Although the pressure is on me to keep the budget balanced and make decisions about what we can afford, I know that if an unexpected expense crops up, like a fault on the car, he's the one who will work the hours to make the money for it."

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IN YOUR OPINION

Should you stand by your man no matter what? (CLOSED)


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