Ray, 51, Jackie, 47, Mathew, 4, and Jackie's parents, Janet and Doug Warner, both in their 70s, and her nieces, Hannah, 15, and Ella, 14
From:
Eastbourne, East Sussex
Ray and Jackie Hoadley are foster carers with a difference - they care for children who are terminally ill.
Unable to have children naturally themselves, they turned down the offer of IVF, deciding instead to share their loving home with one of the many children in need.
They made the decision to take on this special vocation back in 1998 - at the time Ray, 51, was a car mechanic while Jackie, 47, was training to be a social worker.
Following a strict assessment, they were approved by social services to care for children with special needs and, in March 1999, four-year-old Liam came to live with them.
Born with cerebral palsy, chronic lung disease, asthma and visual and hearing impairment, Liam had been given very little hope of survival. He had extremely complex physical and medical needs and came to Ray and Jackie to die. Undaunted, they became his special guardians, taking responsibility for all his day-to-day decisions but still keeping in contact with his birth family.
Says Jackie, "When Liam came to us, he wasn't expected to live much longer. He weighed just 21lb and had the most terrible seizures, which were very upsetting to watch. At first we wondered how we'd cope, but we decided just to take each day as it came."
The Hoadleys were determined to give Liam the best quality of life they could, taking him on holidays around the UK and to Disneyland Paris, where he delighted in the cary rides. Despite numerous stays in Eastbourne District General Hospital, Liam thrived under their care. He steadily gained weight and loved nothing more than visiting their local farm to see the animals.
In November 2005, he was joined at home by Mathew, then 18 months old, who suffered from cystic fibrosis, uncontrollable epilepsy and severe chest infections. Jackie and Ray gave up work to become full-time carers; a typical day in their household started at 6am with tube feeds and medication and continued with endless medical appointments, physiotherapy and one-to-one care. When the opportunity arose they decided to adopt Mathew to gain full responsibility for him.
"It was a steep learning curve," says Jackie. "But we managed. Of course, we couldn't have done it without the help and support of our families. My parents were great, they came to stay with us to help us out. They embraced the boys as though they were their own. And my nieces, Hannah and Ella, are regular helpers with the boys' feeds and general care."
The Hoadley family also began visiting Chestnut Tree House together, a children's hospice based in Poling, West Sussex. There, Ray and Jackie were able to take time for themselves while the boys would go swimming or do arts and crafts. And it was there, at the hospice, where Liam died in August last year, aged 12, after having spent over eight years with the family. Despite their devastation, the couple are determined to continue caring for youngsters with life-limiting conditions, and provide them with a loving home.
Says Jackie, "People ask us how we can do what we do, how we can care for children with a limited life expectancy but, to tell the truth, we try not to think about it. I do worry about Mathew, and often wonder if I'll wake up one day and he'll be gone but, for now, every day seems like a bonus. When Liam died it was a massive shock, and extremely painful for us all, but he'd given us so much joy, we decided to focus on that.
"We do want to care for another child with a life-limiting condition as we still have a lot of love to give. It's scary knowing they won't be with us forever but if we don't take a chance on these children, then who will?"
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