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You are here: Home | Magazine | Features | You The Jury | You the jury January 2009 - Would you donate a loved one’s organs following their death?

You the jury January 2009 - Would you donate a loved one’s organs following their death?

It must be one of the toughest decisions to make - protecting the body of a relative or putting it to good use elsewhere. Interviews by Elizabeth Openshaw

Yes

Debbie Stoner lost her daughter, Jade, in September 2006 when she was just 7. Debbie, 37, a childcare assistant, and her husband, John, also 37, a welder, live in Christchurch, Dorset, with James, 17, and Amy, 6.

I was putting the shopping bags on the kitchen table when I heard a bang outside. Jade had been hit by a car. In the ambulance they tried to revive her but I knew she was gone. In the hospital the scan came back saying she was brain dead. Jade remained on life support while relatives said goodbye. She died on the Sunday and we stayed with her until Monday afternoon.

Nobody approached me about donating Jade's organs, it was my mum who suggested it. As Jade was so young and healthy, my immediate reaction was "yes" but John was against it. He thought Jade had been through enough. I explained Jade had gone and no longer needed her body and I didn't want her life to be in vain or her organs to be wasted. If she could save someone else's life through her death it would be worth something. I knew the organs were important, and that surgeons would treat her with respect and care. John agreed but didn't want to donate Jade's heart. "She was all heart," he said. "An amazing girl who'd give her last sweet away." But I felt Jade's heart could let someone else live. We talked it over and eventually John said he'd support me. One of the worst things was filling in the form about which organs they could have. I wouldn't let them have her eyes - it didn't feel right giving them away.

All the staff at Poole Hospital were so caring. The transplant co-ordinator deserves a medal, he was so compassionate and thoughtful to our needs. Even after we'd signed the consent form, he said we could change our minds. That made the act a little easier to bear, and afterwards, it felt the right thing to do. Jade saved four lives through her death. A 10-month-old girl received her heart and a 17-month-old boy, her liver. Two adults had her kidneys and pancreas. We are in touch with three of them through the transplant co-ordinator, and in the future might meet face to face.

I have no regrets about donating Jade's organs. If she could understand, she would have agreed to it. It was the only positive outcome for the worst thing that can happen to you. Jade is gone but part of her lives on.

No

Anita Comerford's father, Joe, died in August 2008 following a long period of ill health. Anita, 43, is the deputy editor of Candis.

Nobody really knows how they feel about organ donation until they are placed in the situation of making the choice of what to do with their loved one's body. I always believed in organ donation - I carry a card along with my husband to say that every part of me can be used after my death. Neither of us could bear to add our son's name to the list, as the thought of losing our child is too terrible to contemplate.

My attitude, though, was challenged at the recent death of my father. He had been ill for a number of years, suffering several strokes and heart attacks.

Five months ago he suffered another massive stroke and heart attack that left him paralysed from the neck down. He developed pneumonia and we prepared for the worst. Although doctors told us it was hopeless we still held on to the belief that he might just pull though.

After just over a month his fight ended, he just stopped breathing and it was all over. We were taken into a side room and told by the staff nurse that we would be called by Tissue Services to raise the issue of donating my dad's organs. As a family we spoke in unison that we would refuse. My dad had endured enough. His strokes were symptomatic of chronic arterial disease, every part of him had failed, so we knew that his organs would not go to live donors, they were more likely to be used for research.

I had always thought that the body is just a shell, that when you die your soul is gone so it doesn't matter what happens to your body. But I realised that in death what happens to your body is even more important. It is then that the family needs to speak on behalf of that person. The thought of my dad's body being used for research filled me with revulsion - strangers did not have the right to take any part of my dad away, to cut him up and hold him under a microscope. That belittled his very being - reduced to that, when he had been one of the most important things in my world. I had lost him from my day-to-day living, but at least I knew he was whole, that he would not have to endure any more pain and suffering. I know we made the right decision, we had the right to speak up for my dad and that he should finally be left to rest in peace.

Would you donate a loved one’s organs following their death? (CLOSED)

Yes

No

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