Election night bingo
It could be a long night on 7 May… but no matter who you vote for, we’re pretty certain that some things always remain the same. So settle back with a cup of tea and our election night bingo card, to liven up proceedings as the contest hots up.
Just cross these classic lines and incidents off as they happen….
“It’s up to the British people now.”
“Fighting for a better Britain.”
“It’s about policies, not personalities.”
“Hard working people.” (Extra point for “hard working folk”)
“Let me be absolutely clear.”
“If I could just finish the point.”
“What we’ve said all along.”
“Up and down the country.”
“I say this to you.”
“Here’s what I believe…”
“On the doorstep, what we’re hearing is…”
Nervous tie-adjusting from local candidate.
The studio switching to a reporter who isn’t connected, staring blankly into space for several agonising seconds.
A candidate who’s sure to lose insisting that they’re certain of local support.
A random passer-by saying “they’re all the same, aren’t they?”
A line-up of three very serious mainstream candidates and someone wearing a neon monster head.
A studio pundit wearing a dramatically stupid tie.
A studio discussion that consists entirely of “we won’t know till the results are in,” and “have we heard whether any results are in yet?”
People cheering before the result has been fully announced, then sound dying away as they realise they’ve lost.
A losing candidate petulantly refusing to shake hands with the winner.
People counting voting papers, getting put off by TV cameras and having to start again.
Bored reporters hovering outside school polling stations, when the only passers-by are a lollipop man and a dog.
An exhausted reporter posted outside Downing Street for 17 hours, despite the fact that there’s absolutely nothing to report.
A dramatic recount in a marginal constituency.
A female politician wearing something defiant and sassy, and refusing to answer questions.
A winning candidate getting completely carried away and punching the air like Rocky.
Someone ripping off their microphone and storming out.
Presenters trying to whip up election fever in a municipal hall with four people and a small banner.
The TV graphics showing likely constituency wins and losses being completely impenetrable.
The winning Prime Minister saying, “We are very much aware that this is the start of a long road.”
A local candidate will be seen scoffing crisps in the background of the shot.