“Life is passing me by”

I know this may sound a little foolish, but I’m finding myself feeling very flat at the moment, as though life has passed me by. My daughter has just gone back to university. She is a lovely girl and I couldn’t be more proud but her life now seems a whirl of activity and fun while our lives are the same old, boring stuff. I do actually have a very happy marriage and I love my daughter to bits but when I see her charged up with life I feel old and dowdy, as though I’ve let everything go. I keep thinking of the girl I was, like her, and how I’ve changed. I hate feeling like this and can’t tell my lovely husband for fear of hurting him. Sally

Denise says:

Every mother who has successfully launched a child into the world feels like that for a while. They call it empty nest syndrome. You have had a demanding job for 18 years, now that job is done in part and your life feels empty. You now have a wonderful opportunity to start a new project – you. You have time to work on your appearance, your future, your ambitions and, most of all, your relationship. Use the time to get back that man/woman closeness you had before you were parents. Start with your hairdresser, get a new look, go through your wardrobe and see what can be altered or teamed together for a change of style. Consider a part-time college course or perhaps a part-time job. There are so many opportunities to volunteer and open new worlds of knowledge and friendship. Talk to your local Council about openings in the Voluntary Service. Your local library will know what’s going on in your area as far as clubs and societies are concerned. All too soon you may be a grandma and back to the wonderful but time-consuming grindstone, so see this stage not as a time of loss, but of opportunity.