Back to school

I woke up in an absolute panic this morning when my phone calendar alarm told me it was Katy’s first day back at school. Not what you want to hear when it’s 8.30 and Katy is snoring beneath a halo of hair that hasn’t been brushed for three days, two of which have been spent diving for 2p pieces in the lido.

Thank heavens I finally – after leaping out of bed and stubbing my toe extremely hard and trying to breath through massive heart palpitations – remembered my cunning plan set out back in July to programme my phone to alert myself a day early to ensure a smoother-than-usual return to school.

A cup of strong sweet tea and a few yogic breathing exercises later and I was ready to tackle the mountainous list of chores necessary to get my two youngest offspring presentable for tomorrow.

Step  1. Excavate the laundry basket layer by layer – it’s a bit like carbon dating. After three solid days of back-to-back washing machine loads I’ve reached Jack’s school trousers and Katy’s PE kit – so that must mean I’ve worked my way back to July.

Step 2. Hair. Find the good hairbrush – the one with the miraculous de-tangling bristles. Katy now has hair that swooshes like an X Factor contestant – and it only took three episodes of Nickelodeon’s teen sit-com, iCarly and a packet of Oreos to get there.

Step 3. Socks. Argh, the dreaded odd sock box is fuller than the laundry basket and hasn’t been emptied since 19 July. It’s overflowing with lost souls that are harder to match with a mate than Simon Cowell.

Step 4. The school backpacks. I’ve located them but I’m not going near them. I’ve just remembered their last day involved a picnic. That meant a packed lunch. We left for Canada in the early hours of the next day. You know what that means – and I think one of them just moved…

Now do you see why I built in an extra day? Is it wine o’clock yet?

Posted by Amanda Blinkhorn